The Energy of Porn
To get back into your masculine power it is vital that you can break the chains of the porn program. This is a program that is keeping men small.
It’s getting our young men and boys at a very early age. Porn is free – there is no emotional, physical or spiritual investment needed for you to experience whatever sexual fantasies you might have. Or you might be led into traumatic experiences with porn that you wish you were left without.
This is too easy, and it’s not your fault. It’s time for the older men and parents to guide the young ones. Watching porn is keeping you away from actually learning the social skills necessary to be with a woman, and if anything it is making it worse. We as men need to learn to burn and sit with these feelings. If we can’t get a woman, reflect on why that is and change it. This is the work, and porn keeps us from taking the necessary actions towards our own growth into manhood.
It is also creating a huge wave of men struggling with either premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction. This may be because with porn we are training ourselves to ejaculate really quickly, as the fear of being caught out creates a pattern of rushing to orgasm.
Erectile dysfunction might happen if you waste your precious energy and seed multiple times a day. This life force is creative force, and we waste it by watching porn – filling our minds with programs from other people’s fantasies, trauma and pain.
It will take time to break this program. I have been recovering for 10 years, and still, I feel the urge at times, but it is time now for me to offer my insights and be of service to other men.
1. Foundation
Ask yourself: Where is this pattern coming from? When was the first time you watched porn? How do you usually feel before, during and after you watch porn? How does it affect your life?
Take your time to really reflect on your history with porn. See the patterns that play out and how it might affect you. You will need to reflect on this many times, and every time you revisit the trauma that led you to this addiction you will learn something new. Go there and feel it.
2. The Work
I would be lying if I said this is easy. It’s not – it takes a huge amount of strength to break this program. This program is everywhere: in news, movies, social media, advertisements, unconscious conversations, and, of course, on so many porn websites.
I’ve introduced a practice of non-ejaculation and on average I ejaculate once or twice a month. Currently, I’m not watching any news, social media, movies or porn, and I must say I’m feeling better then I ever have. What all these channels are offering is a moment of dopamine edge. This edge is so addictive, and can so easily pull us in all the way. Many recovery coaches recommend staying away from this edge as much as you can.
All this space without input is giving me the energy to create output.
It’s also important to find tools to replace this addictive pattern. What are 20 healthy things you could do instead?
The most important thing is to not do this alone. Get a buddy, a support group or someone to reach out to.
3. Failure & Recommitment
You most probably will fail, many times, but the most important thing is to not give up, keep going, get back on the horse. Every time you fail, there is a lesson. Take the lesson and grow. If you can learn 1% from every time you fail, relapse or have a slip, that is still growth. Remember your commitment and why you are doing this.
Eventually, you will get to a place where your life is more at peace. Imagine a place without shame, guilt, anxiety or depression. This is within your reach. You may even feel blissfully good just being with your own sexual energy. Use this energy to create your dreams and your vision and to live your purpose as a man.